A Zoro Noir
by xkuramaxhieix
Summary: Someone's having a little trouble falling asleep. Wonder who it could be? AU


A/N: I have no idea what inspired this. Please read and review, I'd really like to know what people thought of this. Cause honestly, this was just suddenly there in my brain. Enjoy!

I use a lot of slang! Sorry, I'd define it all, but then this would be more definition than story. For reference, just look up 'film noir terms'. But just for the sake of references, the only one you really need to know is that dutch in this case isn't referring to nationality, it just means 'trouble.'

Please read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: All One Piece characters and their respective other bits belongs to Eiichiro Oda. I don't own, but if I did, Zoro would be wearing a fedora and he'd have awesome theme music all the time.

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It was the perfect night. I couldn't help noticin' as I leaned against the wall. Pullin' out my deck, I popped a pill free. Lighting up, I pat myself down for my lighter. Finding it, I lit up and took a drag. After a few puffs, I stamped the butt out and straightened out the suit before sauntering inside.

The joint was hoppin'.

The bird was singing- Wowza! Look at the gams on that one! Long, shapely, perfect. The doll's hair wasn't too bad either. Long, blonde hair that was shoulder length. Sparkling blue eyes, what a beaut! Her voice crooned, the voice of an angel, lemme tell ya. Gosh, I could just listen to her sing forever. Humming along to the familiar tune under my breath, I confidently sauntered up to the bar. The bar tender, some old guy named Ray asked cheerfully "What'll it be, mac?" I nodded to the doll on stage "Info, about the canary on stage." Ray looked faintly troubled "She's dutch." I grinned and said "Ain't no dutch dame I can't tame." Ray shrugged and said "Up to you. But info'll cost ya." This was almost too easy. I responded easily "Sure, I'll give a yard for info." Holding up the hundred dollars in a neat wad, Ray was sure to snatch it from my fingers and count. Satisfied with the yard, he responded "Dame's name is Sanji, she's a reg. and a favorite of the bar. She ain't easy though. Her kicks are fierce." I grinned and said "Thanks for the tip. I trust you'll keep your trap shut?" After confirming the nod from Ray, I sauntered off, getting as close to the stage as possible, eyeing the dame I had my eye on.

After her set was over, Sanji hopped off stage, careful of her dark blue evening gown, and the white fur coat. Sauntering out back, heels clicking as she walked, she stood in the alley, pulling out her cigarette. Before she could even light up, I was there. I offered "For you, miss?" She could only look at me, seeming to try and assess what kinda guy I was. However, she accepted the light, and said "Sanji. My name's Sanji." I grinned and said "Zoro." Sanji took a deep puff of the cigarette and asked after exhaling "What can I do ya for?" I replied "Whatever you're offering." This seemed to set the dame off, cause next thing I knew, my back was against the wall, and the dam's leg was slammed against the wall right by my hip. It was intensely erotic, and terrifying at the same time. A dame with that kind of flexibility was sure to set any man on fire. She snarled "I ain't no two-bit whore." I held up my hands in a gesture I hoped she would find placating. I said "Woah, easy there doll, I ain't lookin' for a whore. I liked what I saw, and thought I'd scope ya out." Sanji seemed to think for a moment, studying me, judging me, and after some time, seemed to accept my explanation, because she lowered her leg and took another puff from her cigarette.

Relieved, I dropped my hands to the side as she said "Alright stud, buy a doll a drink first?" I nodded, and said "Sure doll, whatever you'd like." I followed her back inside and to the bar. Ordering her a drink, I sweet talked her, and by the end of the night, I was guiding her towards my home. As we walked, she asked "How's a guy like you afford a suit like that?" My suit, a dark grey material, had an emerald green vest underneath it, not quite matching my hair, but still matching with the green in my hair. I shrugged, the white button down and black tie a stark contrast to the green vest, and grey suit jacket. I answered her "Easy doll, I do the work that makes the big bucks." Sanji laughed. She asked "Yer not mob, are ya?" I shook my head and said "Nah, doll. I'm a private dick." I was. I was one of the better dick's in my field, I should know, I always got the better pay and (somehow) managed to get my job done. Pay was good, I could afford the nicer suits if I had to.

Sanji laughed "A private dick, huh? Never been with one of those before." I wrapped my hand around her waist and dipped her, despite her startled yelp. I whispered, looking deep into her eyes "Well, doll, there's a first time for everything." I leaned in to kiss her, and gently placing my lips against hers, I realized I had never tasted lips so sweet. Yes, this dame was truly one of a kind. Standing her up right once more, I allowed for a moment to catch our breaths, and she smiled. Sanji said "Well, mister private dick-"

"Zoro?"

Zoro looked up from the book in front of him at the sound of his lover's sleepy voice. He'd been curled up on the couch unable to sleep, and not wanting to disturb his lover, he'd gone to sit on the couch and read. However it now seemed that his sleeping lover was up. Zoro responded softly "Oi, love cook, you should go back to sleep!"

Sanji yawned and shuffled over, wearing nothing but a pair of loose flannel pajama pants, low on his hips. He said sleepily "I couldn't sleep. You should come back to bed." Zoro sighed, and folding over the corner of the page in the book, he shut the book and got to his feet. "Alright I'm coming, love cook." Sanji snorted, still sounding sleepy "What're you reading that had you so engrossed?" Zoro shrugged his shoulders and said "Just some film noir book." Sanji let out a sleepy hum, acknowledging Zoro's words. As Zoro guided his lover back into bed, he curled up around his lover's half-asleep frame, but he still couldn't sleep. So, to pass the time, he decided to narrate a little, keeping it under his breath.

"As the dame fell asleep in his arms, Private Dick Zoro couldn't help but think that this was the start of something beautiful-"

"Marimo."

Zoro flushed at getting caught, but he managed "Yeah, shit cook?"

"I'm trying to sleep, and you narrating your little film noir fantasies is making it fucking hard to sleep."

"And the private dick couldn't help but laugh-"

"Zoro!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry! Yeesh! Don't be so uptight, shit cook!"

"Good night, Private dick."

Zoro grinned and settled in comfortably and finally began to doze off he said softly "Goodnight, doll."


End file.
